The Prisoner

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Have you ever felt like a prisoner in your own body? You may feel a certain way and no matter how hard you try, you just can't break free?

I haven't been feeling like myself for at least 9 months now.  Some time towards the end of last summer, I really started to realize that something was off. I have been to conventional doctors more times than I can count to have them all tell me that I was fine. One endocrinologist even told me that I needed to see a therapist because I was trying to alter my nutrition to combat how I was feeling. Nice, huh?  So I went in search of alternative methods.  I have been seeing a naturalistic doctor now for the past couple of months. I finally found someone who listened and was interested in TRULY getting to the root of what was going on. I have many things out of whack with my body. I have already gone through one round of treatment and currently I am being treated for Lyme along with a couple of other things. She says your body is like an onion. As you heal one layer, it peels away and other things can come to the surface. She warned me that it would get worse before it would get better. I was mentally prepared for it...or so I thought. This is so hard for me to talk about here. Contrary to the fact that it may seem like I blast my business on social media, I still keep a lot to myself. It's uncomfortable to make yourself vulnerable in this way. I try really hard to be a positive light in the lives of others.  I smile in pictures and post positive messages but some days quiet honestly it is all I can do to pull myself out of bed. I want to sleep 24/7. I am emotionally, mentally and physically drained.  That is my reality right now.

Maybe you are wondering why I am sharing this here...well...I just wanted you to know if you are reading this and you are going through something similar, you aren't alone. You may feel trapped. You may even feel a little crazy. I know I do! But that doesn't mean that better days aren't coming. I have hope. I pray each day for healing to get through this. I want to feel like me again. My goal throughout this entire journey has not been just weight loss. That will just be a happy byproduct. I just want to be healthy. I want to be able to live life to the fullest. I want to be the best mom possible to my boys and the wife my husband deserves. I know that I'm not there right now, but I'm working on it. We are all works in progress regardless of where we are in our journeys.  Don't give up. I'm saying that as much to myself as I am to you right now. We can't give up. There IS a light at the end of the tunnel and we WILL get there!

Forever hopeful,

A strong woman believes that she is strong enough to face her journey, but a woman of strength has faith that it is in the journey that she will become strong.

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